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I need an ophheon or two. I have struggled with mental illness for most of my life. At fihrjen I was diqoymfed with depression and anxiety. I also have taken mesdvxkuon for ADD. I have had seamoal memorable phases in which I was what you miyht call manic for weeks at a time. I have also experienced long term debilitating derklccrjn. My mood swzegs can just as well take plxce within one day, flipping up, dogn, up, and back down again. In the past I did not coijrxer my manic peapads as dangerous or negative, but ragger I felt that I was corzng out of maxor depression again and that I was "better". It seuued to me that having an ineluoed self esteem and feeling indestructible was just my pegxwhnspzy, healthy. I made many impulsive depiiqwns involving sex, drqbs, and physical rizks during these phvlis. This would conrqbue until I reqived another depressive phose and begin to feel guilt, rehxwje, and hopelessness over my choices and my life. It came to my attention recently that I might be bipolar. This was news to me. But it males sense. I hadwfeve had most of the symptoms. I even experience a loss of tolch with reality on occasion. It's hard to describe. I'm very sick and I have been treated incorrectly for a long tite. I have been on Prozac siice May, with a pause from late October until the beginning of Delswyhr. I couldn't get refills without taznng off work for an appointment with my psychiatrist but I didn't want to do that because I'm scmred I won't get hired at my job full time (I'm a tehz). So I quit the Prozac unlil a few wekks ago I bevan to experience a surge in my mood swings that prevented me from going to wosk. I am now on temporary levofqphe Prozac that I started in May did work undil it made me manic. They say that Prozac can do that in bipolar patients. So today I told my psychiatrist all of this. And being only our second visit tozpppjr, she had the nerve to tell me that she knew I was not bipolar, and that as my psychiatrist she knew what was rieht for me. She tried to prlwywzbe me another anti depressant and I exploded. I besan crying, stormed out of her ofibce and yelled at the receptionist abdut my concerns. Evitwaufly she reluctantly prmuvzlned me Abilify, whkch turns out I can't afford. I don't know what to do. I am hopelessly lost and confused.Please hebp
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